I’m a serial beginner of things, and worse than usual at committing to them over the long term. Digital time travellers could find fragments of my multiplicity all over, from a new Live Journal for every passion, to abandoned Tumblr accounts for different aesthetics covering topics and fashions from goth to dapper, Buddhism to Roller Derby. I have found my True Calling – “Honestly, this time I really think this is what I’m meant to do!” – in belly dance, surfing, weightlifting, hiking, ukulele, drawing and photography. I have considered leaving my degree/career behind to teach outdoor skills to kids, open a tea shop, become a fire fighter, forestry expert, hair dresser or digital nomad.
Before you get the impression that I’m an accomplished and well-rounded person, I should point out that none of these passions or inclinations lasted remotely long enough for me to develop any skill whatsoever. I bought books, clothes, classes, equipment to facilitate the hobby and put together mood boards, playlists and extensive blog reading lists, only to set them aside as soon as the way became difficult and the next passion came along like an endless rolling of waves; a blog for every season, jettisoned at the moment inspiration waned.
As I get older, I’m becoming more interested in what’s left behind as the tides change. What are the shards of beach glass or strands of seaweed left clinging to the shore when the surge has sucked backward? What do I still care about, what do I retain for the long term? Each wave deposits material and polishes what is already there. Now I’m getting to the age where passions I had in my early 20s are coming round again, like repeating seasons, but this time I have the perspective to hold them a bit more lightly and see what they have to teach me about being a better person.
What has been a constant through all my seasons is writing. Which, you know, just goes to show that sometimes the obvious things are right under your nose. I don’t think I’m a good writer, but nevertheless I love it and I always feel better when I take the time to do it.
So what is this blog about then?
The common motifs that recur in the way I think about the world are maps, webs, interconnections, woven threads, intentionality, reflection and examination. Basically, I’m with Socrates re: life and the examination thereof. Navel gazing, perhaps, but I’m trying to develop self-reflective practices that help me be a better friend, sister, daughter and partner. This blog is an exploration of these big ideas through the small seasonal changes in passion and the lasting high water marks that they leave.
I’m intending this blog to be able to flex and change with my changing passions. On it you’ll probably find fashion and music, bullet journal spreads, plenty of philosophy, bits about my job as a librarian and the emphasis on information literacy that this brings to my life, stuff about strength training and other physical practices, meditation and witchcraft, and lots of thoughts on social and environmental justice. This may sound all over the map, but crucially it’s all on the same map and that’s the madcap cartography of my life. But in addition to moving with the ebbs and flows I also want to commit to the discipline of writing it and carry this out for the long term. I will aim for one post per week, with two regular posts every month: at the beginning a discussion of what’s arising for me that month, and at the end a review of what some of my favourites have been.
So, I don’t know who the audience for this blog will be, or who will ride through the vicissitudes with me and find comfort in my self expression. Maybe I am only writing this blog for me after all…
But I am enough.